76- New CBT is today! (updated)

As announced previously, today I'm starting my new CBT, or in French, TCC, for which I'm going to have this lovely notebook to write my therapist's suggestions and also my ''homework''.

The first 2 pages, I wrote the key elements of what I did thus far, including the books that I read, and the various tools that I've been using.

75 -Special edition 2 : Mental health awareness month (22) - Poll results!

On 11th of May, I launched a poll about social anxieties, with a deadline set for the 27^th as I wished to have enough time to analyze and post the results as well as my own comments- and the end of the health awareness month.

I received 4 replies, only from women, about which I was not surprised because most vlogs I listened on youtube were women and the percentage of men who had dared to speak about their specific case is weak even though I found some.

74- Special edition 2 : Mental health awareness month (21) - Phobias II

One of the hardest posts I can talk about (possibly harder than PTSD ones, actually), relates to 3 of my worse phobias, and they are intertwined, and I'll first copy from post 8

73- Special edition 2 : Mental health awareness month (20) - Negative in the eye of the beholder

I know, I know, they say it's beauty, but I think that ''negative'' is also in the eye of the beholder, the eye that is in one's mind, one's psych and one's heart : one's approach to negative, and failure can really determine the outcome of what we call ''bad moments or events''. 

Yes, there are of those things which harm us and we might easily label them as bad and negative and feel we'd failed - but often, there's another side to it, one which isn't always easy to see, or be aware of immediately, but it can really be there. 

72- Special edition 2 : Mental health awareness month (19) - Nail-mania recovery

Picking or biting one's nails, just like Trichotillomania ,  are Body-Focused Repetitive behavior, in short BFRB, an umbrella term regarding compulsive actions which damage one or several parts on one's body. 

71- Special edition 2 : Mental health awareness month (18) - Social Networks/Raising awareness

In the past few weeks I've listened to numerous testimonials from vlogers on youtube, who talked about mental health issues and shared their innermost private thoughts.

70- Special edition 2 : Mental health awareness month (17) -Misconceptions 2

As I continued perusing vlogs from MHW2K16, I noticed that several women had unintentionally opened the door to a misconception that does occur and could worsen. I'm speaking about the fact that it is believed that mental illness affects more women than men.

69- Special edition 2 : Mental health awareness month (16) -Self-care (2)

Well, I forgot to mention in my preview self-care entry that I used to periodically treat myself to a facial green clay mask which helps open up my pores and refreshes my skin.
It's something I hadn't done in a very long time (several months) and tonight, I finally pampered myself with one and if feels just great!

It was a few hours ago, and I can still smell the clay! 

I haven't started the coloring book, but I have been reading and listening to vlogs almost daily, and also exchanging with a few youtoubers and maintaining the sense of community. 

Aside that, I also play some videogames to occupy myself and break a bit with the mental health research, and watch movies and shows that I like/love. 

68- Special edition 2 : Mental health awareness month (15)

May is internationally dedicated to the awareness of mental health, various psychological disorders, trauma etc which each person can suffer one point of life ...

France is far behind in this respect, and not a new problem: the overall mentality is to let people suffer in silence, because it is too difficult to talk about health issues - physical, and even more so for mental, psychological.

67- Special edition 2 : Mental health awareness month (14) - PTSD 4

Following the PTSD research, I found another video with Dr Frank Ochberg, explaining complex PTSD that I mentioned in my third related entry. 

66- Special edition 2 : Mental health awareness month (13) - Trichotillomania

There are many videos on youtube with documentaries and testimonials from various people suffering from trichotillomania, an OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) characterized by the compulsive urge to pull one's hair : mostly from one's scalp, but in some cases can be either, or additionally any other hair on the body, from the eyelashes or  eyebrows, down to the nose, or the arms and hands, or further to the pubic areas or legs... anywhere with hair can be thus plucked. 

65- Special edition 2 : Mental health awareness month (12) - support 2

With Kay ska’s permission, I share a vlog she posted during MHW2K16, regarding support systems.

Even though I shall come back to it with more detail, the main goal of this post is to bring attention to an online therapy available in the UK+New Zealand, and which Kay found very helpful : Big White Wall

64- Special edition 2 : Mental health awareness month (11) - PTSD 4

In previous message, I talked about my PTSD and mentioned how it was caused (well, partially, I cannot go into all the details), and how it affects me. 

63- Special edition 2 : Mental health awareness month (10) - PTSD 3

I'd like to discuss a little more about PTSD : post-traumatique stress disorder. 
If you've seen the hobbit/lord of the rings, I suggest this video about trauma & addiction, from the channel I just mentioned in my previous entry : Crash Course. That is a very  informative video but unfortunately spoils a tiny bit said books/ movies, so you've been warned. (well, to some this isn't a spoiler at all, so I'll let you judge)

I do have to mention right here that this post ended much longer that I'd first realized. I'm not proficient at summarizing and don't intend to shorten this, in view of the topic. 
I would appreciate if you do read it, in spite of its length - thank you. 

62- Special edition 2 : Mental health awareness month (9) - Psychological disorders

May is almost half over, but mental health awareness month is still going and I wanted to share a
channel which I discovered during mental health week : Crash Course. That channel talks about many topics, including the one which occupies us presently : mental health.

61- Special edition 2 : Mental health awareness month (8) - poll

Hi everyone, as you know I suffer from social phobia. I created this blog to express myself and talk about my experiences and quest towards healing from this phobia.

May is Mental Health Awareness Month, so I started posting specific entries for this month and created this quick interview which shall be featured in an upcoming post about awareness to Social Anxiety, to show that this is a very serious topic and that many suffer from it.

I want to show that there can be various causes to social anxieties and that each person is affected differently.

I hope to demonstrate that each individual finds tools to cope with this social anxiety or phobia.

60- on bullying

Mental Health week 2016 is over, but the month isn't, and thus mental health awareness must go on. I now come to discuss a topic I haven't shared yet : bullying.

As a teen in school, I was both victimised and in turn bullied others for a short period of my life, acts for which I'm not proud having done and for which I unfortunately cannot ask forgiveness directly to those I've hurt because I live in a different country and forgot the names of my fellow classmates in what feels like a whole other lifetime.

Some children are cruel and they'll find anything they can to berate, make fun of anyone they want, and hurt both verbally and physically those they are afraid of because of their differences.
Others will bully for a whole wide range of factors outside of an underdeveloped compassion or an innate sociopath's behaviour.

59- Special edition 2 : Mental health awareness month (7) - Community

On this last day of Mental Health Week 2016, I want to discuss the sense of community created by the various vloggers on yourtube, where I heard about this particular week.

Indeed, the topics of mental health aren't easy for any of us to share. To the initiative of one blogger Kristen all the vloggers followed and posted daily videos on their channel, and all inter-connected and linked to one another with the hashtag MHW2K16 to help the search.

Every day had a topic which almost everyone followed according to their own mental health issues and with their personal styles.

I really want to applaud this community of people who had the courage to share very private details about themselves and who participated every day to bring awareness to various mental illnesses from which we all (in this community) suffer at various degrees.

58- Special edition 2 : Mental health awareness month (6) - Recovery

Day 6 of Mental Health week (and awareness month), I now want to discuss what I think would be recovery in my own case.

First, on the level of social phobia : this recovery would mean that I can finally attend social events without having any panic attack, and I'd consider that I made enough progress even if I experience a little anxiety. 
I never could, for instance, go to a concert even though I love music and that it helps me control part of my cyclothymia. Being cured would mean that I can at least go enjoy a concert, alone or with someone that also loves the artist I chose.

Recovering from social phobia would also mean that i'd accept many invitations from friends to go to their birthday parties where people I don't know would also be and that I wouldn't freak out to the mere idea of this party...

57- Special edition 2 : Mental health awareness month (5) -Misconceptions

Day 5 of mental health week (MHW2K16) corresponds to misconceptions people can have about various mental illnesses.

I find myself at a loss for words right now, maybe because I'd been so busy and had to backtrack several days' worth of posts which I then translate into French for my non-anglophone french friends, so my brain is a bit tired.

To avoid merely copy pasting what others have said thus far about it, I'll let you discover these people, their stories and their own words, as they have said it much clearer than I can do at the moment.

This link is an example, but other videos might be available without the hashtags, so you'll have to expand just like I plan to do.

56- Special edition 2 : Mental health awareness month (4) - Support 1

Day 4 of mental health week, I now turn to getting support for my mental health.

The most important help I get is the patience I receive from my wife, who tries to find ways to kick me out of my comfortable avoidant zone and forces me to go to places : the movies, to see friends in a monthly veg café meetups, invite friends, and accept their invitations (not easy for me!), travel a bit more, and even pushed me to just go to the star wars convention last week.

55- Special edition 2 : Mental health awareness month (3) - Self-care

May is mental health awareness month, and in this day 3 post I answer ‘’How I practice self-care’’ ?

In the past 6 months or so, I’ve read books and watched videos on youtube, in search of ideas and tools to improve my life conditions and start a healing process as I find my mental health to be very challenging on a daily basis and I’ve come to a point in my life where I make better friends which I don’t want to lose (they have been very patient and understanding, taking my situation into consideration for our various activities together).

54- Special Edition 1- Sexual Assault Awareness (4)

April just finished and this morning I read an article on a French website, which I found afterwords in English and I absolutely had to share with you because it's about a huge victory Mayan women who were repeatedly raped and used as domestic slaves by military officials in the mid 1980's during Guatemala's conflict.

These two officials were found guilty of crimes against humanity and sentenced to 120 and 240 years in prison, respectively, and might inspire other victims all over the world to follow in the footsteps of the courageous indigenous Mayan women who withstood their ground for many years to reach this amazing victory !

I congratulate their bravery as well as the juge for the courage to sentence these despicable men in spite of a lot of corruption in her country.

This concludes my 4-part special edition in the subject of sexual assault awareness, and I invite you all to read more about it and spread knowledge as the world has to change, it's time.

53 - new CBT confirmed!!

As pre-announced in post 16, I have fresh news this morning, I just called and set an appointment to restart a CBT, which will be May 30th !!!
4 small weeks of waiting during which I will continue reading the last book I started, and progress on my own... I'm glad I will not have to wait many months, as I've already lost a lot time with my first CBT ...

52- Special edition 2: Mental health awareness month (2) - Impact on my life

May is mental health awareness month, and it appears that the first week is more important, so I shall follow the example of vlogers and try to compose daily entries for this week and then weekly ones the rest of the month, all regarding this topic.

Before I get on to my case, here's a link with #MHW2K16, as in Mental Health Week 2016,  o youtube 

51- Special edition 2: Mental health awareness month (1) - Spreading awareness

May is Mental health awareness month, and this first week is ''MHW2K16'', Mental Heallth Week 2016, at least in Canada (I saw other dates on other websites but I'll just take the lead of the youtubers I follow).

The first day, they post about spreading mental awareness. I have to say that although I have always been interested in health in general and specifically in alternative health (herbal medicine, mostly), I've never spread anything and would only answer questions from friends and people I met throughout my life.