64- Special edition 2 : Mental health awareness month (11) - PTSD 4

In previous message, I talked about my PTSD and mentioned how it was caused (well, partially, I cannot go into all the details), and how it affects me. 



Last night, i had one of the worst flashback nightmares and it stressed me so much that all my chest was hardened, stiff and compressed to a point it caused severe nausea and I found myself at 5:25 AM coming back to bed, shivering after having spent some time breathing fresh, cold air at the kitchen window to help the nausea away... I'm not sure how long I was there, but I had been up for at least half an hour, during which I fought the flashback imagery away, as well as trying really hard not to throw up... 

Near failure, I also stood by the WC door, shaking and muttering to myself ''mind over matter'' repeatedly as I really didn't want to be sick, and after I won that battle I regained my bed, shivering because I'd been so long at the window and had to wait a while before the 2 blankets warmed me enough to stop shaking so badly. 

I decided that I really need to talk about my traumas with my shrink, more than I did before, because my PTSD is getting once again totally out of control. My next appointment is in 5 weeks, during which I shall pursue personal work of PTSD, additionally to all my research into social phobias, because my traumas are at the core of all my various mental illnesses, and I can no longer afford dealing with each problem separately, even though it's going to be very tough, I must undertake the next step on my healing process. 

And, as mental health awareness month isn't over, I'm going to research and post about this, as well as a few other issues, and off course, since I cannot finish all this in 2 weeks, my mental health awareness month will spill into June, but that is more than fine : May is just a startup point for me, a point for persevering and pushing my limits to work more efficiently and spread knowledge with almost daily posts, but awareness doesn't end with the calendar changing to June : it must be extended until the day the bridge is long and strong enough to sustain stigma free  interaction between ''us'' and ''normal people'', a term I limit here to those who aren't surpassed by their health issues, mental or otherwise, as I refuse societal labels and robotized normalcy... 

I'm a rebel and shall always be, and lift more veils and taboos, but that's for another post... 

Expect more in the next few posts.