66- Special edition 2 : Mental health awareness month (13) - Trichotillomania

There are many videos on youtube with documentaries and testimonials from various people suffering from trichotillomania, an OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) characterized by the compulsive urge to pull one's hair : mostly from one's scalp, but in some cases can be either, or additionally any other hair on the body, from the eyelashes or  eyebrows, down to the nose, or the arms and hands, or further to the pubic areas or legs... anywhere with hair can be thus plucked. 




It's still not fully understood, but it seems this disorder corresponds either to extreme anxieties, or negative body-image.

This video, for instance, showcases two young women pulling their hair, one from her scalp, the other from her legs. The former has severe anxieties but doesn't know why she ''chose'' to pull her hair, which she had many difficulties to better control after 20 years ; whilst the latter has negative image about hair on her legs, from which she pulls so much that she has raw skin and has to hide her legs.

In both cases, as well as many as 10 million people in the USA alone, there is a compulsion to pull one's hair and there are many results from this disorder:
Bald patches or full blown baldness, as well as negative feedback from a society who puts a huge emphasis on nice, shiny and luxurious long hair for women.

As these women pull their own hair and often cannot stop, their self-image deteriorates and they may at times become very lonely because of it as well as depressive episodes relating to their inability to stop and heal.

After hearing about this disorder's name for the first time a few days ago as I listened to various mental health week vlogs, it dawned on me that I too have suffered from it and just didn't know this particular term : trichotillomania.
Indeed, during my teen-years, I was very anxious and would compulsively pull my scalp hair so much that I had two bald patches, the size of a tennis ball each, on two sides of the head.

I had also been hating the rest of my body's hair and wished I had different genes to get naturally smooth legs, because I didn't see myself pulling or shaving them due to my low pain threshold. (I never wear shorts because of my negative image of these hairs).

After my bald patches appeared, society around me started to bully me, on top of other bullying about which I merely scratched the surface in this post.  My step-mother also belittled me for it, and my father could care less...

As this experience was difficult for me to bare, I learned to control my hands and eventually stopped pulling, but my anxieties have never really gone away and I sometimes continued to stroke my hair anxiously, and sometimes I find myself still doing it as an adult.

I consciously remind myself those incidents in my teens and I brush my hair and tie it to leave it alone - especially since I've been trying to grow it long. It has become a personal tool for self express my individuality as most men in my city don't have long hair, and rare are those who dye them -   notably in blue, purple and pink.

My will to defy social norms and express my uniqueness have helped greatly to set aside this particular OCD and I wanted to point out that although the vast majority of those who suffer from trichotillomania are women, there are some of us who are men and also have to deal with such a mental illness and face negativeness in a shallow society which must learn to understand and develop empathy towards us all, for any of our mental or physical ailments.

In my research into trichotillomania, I found this website. It suggests CBT, cognitive behavior therapy, which have been found effective in treating this disorder, as this therapy helps to re-arrange one's thoughts after learning to self-analyse automatic thoughts during anxiety.

I hope with this article to bring some more awareness into mental health and this disorder, wishing all those who suffer from it to find the roots of your difficulties and start your healing process.

Healing is possible.