75 -Special edition 2 : Mental health awareness month (22) - Poll results!

On 11th of May, I launched a poll about social anxieties, with a deadline set for the 27^th as I wished to have enough time to analyze and post the results as well as my own comments- and the end of the health awareness month.

I received 4 replies, only from women, about which I was not surprised because most vlogs I listened on youtube were women and the percentage of men who had dared to speak about their specific case is weak even though I found some.

I changed the names of 4 people to maintain their anonymity - at their request.

As you will see by reading the answers to my 6 questions, social anxieties of each person are different, even if there's common ground: harassment and assault during youth, at school, are very common sources in fears of the other, fear to trust and also creates an altered self-image, due to repeated words or acts that lower the person’s self-esteem to the point that he or she thinks the others are right.

I noticed this through youtube vlogs, in both French and mostly English.

Indeed, although the stigma of mental illness is present everywhere, in France it seems a little more serious than in Anglo-Saxon countries, where large movements of people and organizations help to break taboos and stigmatization, especially using many hashtags and also this awareness month which is coming to an end on the calendar but awareness does not stop there.

I'll let you read the answers of this poll, and meet you for my conclusion afterwards.

Question 1: can you give me a quick background into the sources of your social anxieties?  

• Paula : Early childhood trauma. Parents who fought. Abusive parent. Sexual abuse. 
•  Julia : My social anxieties consist of loud noises, being in crowded places or around people that I don’t know very well, new places.
•  Veronica : I've suffered with social anxiety since i was a young child, especially at school (probably from bullying). It also seems to run in my family.
•  Céline: bullying and rejection during adolescence, because of my differences (clothing, personality ...) sexual assault (touching). physical attacks too.

Question2: how do your social anxieties affect your daily routines and interactions with people around you in your private and public life? How severe do you rate your anxiety?

• Paula:At its absolute worst it is crippling. Can't leave my house. I am medicated enough that I can go to my job and not disrupt my routine. I push myself out of my comfort zone but it has to be on my terms.
• Julia: My anxieties affect me in different ways. They can range from environment to self-consciousness and self-esteem. They also affect the amount of time it takes for me to get ready, such as time management and concerns over appearance.
• Veronica: Not as bad as it used to, the was a time where i hardly left the house or went anywhere so i wouldn't have to face anyone. It's got better for me personally although i still get anxious from time to time, especially when i'm alone. I'd rate mine now at about 3/10.

My poll made Céline think and assess for the first time and put words on her  anxieties, and noted many situations:

• I eat alone and refuse invitations, whereas with people I eat quickly, or little.
• I dress simply and amply, avoiding unusual outfits, (my work normalizes). Fear of ridicule in my outfits, as in my actions, my anxiety worsened since I turned 23 and also since I gained weight. I do not like to go try on clothes in stores, but I try to do so; when it does not suit or fit me (it happens more & more often) it depresses me and I have a sense of shame. 
• Fear of the unknown: Places (I never go away alone as I fear getting lost). Parties where I do not know anyone and fear of being unattractive and unable to defend my thoughts for lack of knowledge; I try not to talk too much and be the center of attention, I let people talk instead.
•  I’m afraid to invite (home or otherwise) (I do not know what to say and do, afraid that people are bored or do not like my cooking), so I do not invite.
•   I do not do sports (because I feel ridiculous).
•  When there is a crowd, I sometimes feel heat, or more or less important dizziness. I try to take a break further away, or sit down to collect my thoughts a moment. I avoid taking the bus.
•  I look only very rarely people in the eyes (the eyes are the windows to the soul, my soul is sensitive and shy).

Question3: have you sought professional help or treatment for your anxiety? if so, what kind and what was your general experience?

• Paula : Therapy. Meds. Yes it helps if you want to do your work and explore root causes. 
• Julia: I have had CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) and numerous psychiatrists in the past for OCD, anxiety and behaviour (I have Asperger’s Syndrome)
• Veronica : As a teenager i did though my personal experiences weren't that good. Not many professionals seemed that understanding, a lot of them didn't seem to understand my problems at all.
• Céline: no, never.

Question 4: do you do anything for self-help?

• Paula : Vegetarian diet. Drink lots of water. Smoke pot. 
• Julia: I try to keep as composed as possible when I get anxious. When I am at home I go online and listen to music but when I am outside I try to tell myself mentally that the anxiety will soon ease or try to find a “place of safety”.
• Veronica: Music helps me a lot as does my family. Other than that i try and reason with myself that the anxieties are irrational.
• Céline: I try to reason with myself, trying to convince myself to just be myself but the discomfort takes over in many situations.

Question 5: do you openly discuss your social anxieties with your inner circle of friends and family, and co-workers? If yes, are there general reactions from people?

• Paula : Yes but most people don't understand anxiety unless they suffer from it. The people who know are very supportive.
• Julia: Yes, I often discuss my anxieties especially if I am out and anxious when someone is with me (friends or family)
• Veronica: Only with family and close friends.
• Céline: I've never thought about it to tell the truth ... but other than two or three people, I prefer not to share...

  

Question 6: do you wish people in general had more understanding and more empathy towards those who suffer from social anxiety or do you think it’s a private subject to keep to oneself?

  

• Paula: Yes. There needs to be less stigma and more understanding. 
• Julia: I do wish that people would take more time to understand social anxieties rather than be so quick to judge and be so ready to discriminate against those who are anxious.
• Veronica: It would be great if there was more understanding as a lot of people seem to think it's something that you can just switch off. I prefer to keep it quiet myself, but i'm sure there are many out there who would find it helpful if they could be open about it.
• Céline: I would like people to be more understanding instead of becoming aggressive when they meet people or things they do not know. Empathy, yes, I would generally like people to have more of it, that’s clear. ... Regarding private subjects, it depends with whom one talks about them.

In conclusion, I am very happy to have launched this investigation and allowed Céline to do her first self-analysis and realize the magnitude of her social anxieties, allowing her now to take the path of healing.

Each of the three other people who already knew what they were suffering from have developed separate tools to cope and anxiety affects them very differently.

All agree on the fact that we need more understanding, stressing the importance to know who we can trust to talk about such subjects sometimes private and difficult to discuss.

Wishing each of the participants better days and to be less affected by their anxieties, I end with these words:

Healing is possible.