273- Today's Psychotherapy

Today has been a long one, and very productive, as I ran several errands. But the most important part has been my psychotherapy session. 

272- 52weekgratitude catchup 33-38

It’s time to catch up with the 52weekgratitude challenge. My last entry was for week 32, a city I’ve visited. In that case, it was Châtel-Guyon, and its forest where I went to hike with a friend.

271- "Change's always for the best"

**Trigger warning***

I've been told numerous times, including in a recent chat, that "change's always for the best"   and has to be embraced... See, 'it's what we make out of change that is good or bad, but not change''... 

Well, I beg to disagree! I'm really tired of psycho-babble of pseudo-positive mindsets that denies the facts of CPTSD, yet along multiple ones. 

270- B12 deficiency and my mental health

My struggles with mental health don't really ever stop, and on top of everything, I've been anxious and super-stressed about my B12 situation, as I've had a severe deficiency, and doubts as to my body's ability to keep it, lead my GP to prescribe an invasive test, that would've triggered my emetophobia so much that I had postponed it for over 5 years already.

269 - Ebbs & flows of mental illness & health

Mental illnesses naturally ebb and flow. Sometimes I feel functional enough and freer of my illnesses than days where everything seems so heavy that I cannot cope with anything, yet along function adequately. 

Recovery isn't a straight line, and we have moments, periods of short or longer duration, where we stagnate or appear to have regressed, and though these are difficult to go through, we must accept that this particular moment, we aren't okay, but can be later. 

268- Even non-violent nightmares can be stressful

Even non-violent intrusive nightmares can be difficult to deal with.
Indeed, after I got back to bed at 6AM, the reality of my dream was felt in very tangible stress and anxiety, as what I experienced in it felt real.

267- On progress with CBT and exposure

Yesterday we had plans to go to the museum, but the tram had a technical glitch and wasn't running. 

The old me wouldn't have called the friend we were supposed to meet over there. Old Lulu would have gone back home, called and canceled those plans. Even if it meant missing the chance to see an exhibit the museum wasn't going to run again - this would've been the case yesterday, if old me had the reigns of anxiety.