41- Book- Burn-out

Book – Burn-out ; le détecter et le prévenir
Author : Catherine Vasey
Note : ?/10
Year: 2012
Jouvence éditions. ISBN 978-2-88911-301-9
145 pages (numbered 11-155)

Suspecting that I know some people who suffer from burn-out, I wanted to get specifically aware on this social phenomenon, that resembles a  depression, but has the distinction of being specifically related to the workplace .

A recent term, created in 1970, it is a process with at least 170 symptoms which have been reported but it is possible to synthesize in 5 large classes.

40- Entertaining friends while suffering from social phobias ...

38- entertaining friends while suffering from social phobias ...
... Is never easy, but I managed to get better with time, number of invitations in the past 18 months , and I'm used to the presence of some friends.
At first, it was very difficult. I still remember one of the first visits, just before Christmas 2014, when we invited several friends we'd known for a few months and during social games, I was seized with severe nausea and vomiting ensued, which is difficult because of one of many other phobias, emetophobia ...

39- announcing future posts

Hi to you all, I announce that I started preparing entries, programmed to appear each Sunday
around specific topics in the context of international awareness months for the following topics:

In April, it will be the month of Sexual Assault Awareness, very heavy but has to be treated to light the lantern of those who do not know about the victims, far too many.

In May, the month of Mental Illness Awareness, Mental Health, which included the topic that launched this blog: phobias, social and others, but also many other related mental health topics ...

38- attending a geek con?!

A  few days ago I learned that a geek convention was planned...that same day and the next ... it gave me no time to prepare psychologically and to the announcement of the number of visitors, I abstained from going... and now I see the date of another convention will take place in five weeks and then I tell myself that I have a little time to create my tools and get ready for this event ...

36- Shrink session 22/03/16

Without going into the details of my normal psychotherapy, I discussed today and had a very good return of my therapist about the future of my CBT at the University Hospital in the month of May and confirmation - additional - about the quality of the work of Dr. Beck and the book that I began to read on 9th of this month. 

35 - male, female, social labels ... and me

The concept of gender is one of the most present labels in our society and have probably been for a long time ... Whom and what defined ''a man'',''being male'',''  ''a woman'' and ''being female''? after all, these concepts apart from the apparent biological aspect, but also based on social criteria changes and evolve over time and across countries...

35- Advocating with extreme sensitivities and social phobias

I belong to a local group, and yesterday at a staff meeting, someone asked me if I was going to an animal rights protest that weekend. I replied that I wouldn't, that they'd have to call an ambulance to treat me once I fainted .. I'm not ready to such actions, taking due both to my extreme sensitivities and social phobias.

34- Having to delay yet another outing

Well, last year I had already avoided going to an event that I saw being renewed this year and which takes place this very weekend ... but, the number of people will be enormous and that makes me too anxious. I do not feel ready, just as last year, to attend it ... I just hope as I can next year!
The geek con will have to wait for my arrival...

33 - Pursuing my reading of cognitive therapy...

In Post 27 I detail my reading of Cognitive Therapy ; although it dates from 1976 it still seems relevant. I now share a few ideas that come mind during Chapter 4 on cognitive patterns in emotional disorders.

First, I know intellectually misinterpreted painful events in my complicated past, and that among the consequences, my social phobias developed.

32- Tools - the diary

As my wife suggested, I began to keep a diary in February 2016. This is not the first attempt because I had tried to maintain multiple diaries in the past, and just as I was afraid, I struggled to make regular entries.

At first I did every day, but after only a week, I ran out of time and some days after that, I was late.

I tried to fix this by writing a posteriori but quickly exceeded, again more than 10 days had no inputs...

I'm just inconsistent and my state of fatigue coupled with the lack of motivation does not help me to write every day or even every week.

There are, however, positive achievements because I post more regularly on this blog, where I can spread myself a bit more than on paper.

Only in the future we'll see if I'd managed to regain pencil ...

31 - Extreme mental fatigue

I spent my entire day reading ''cognitive therapy..'' and composing entries for this blog, and I realized that in my haste to move forward, I forced too much on my already tired gray cells, so I finished with a double migraine ... possibly triple, since my eyes are not yet accustomed to the new progressive glasses.

I need to find the middle way in this process and I decided to take more breaks because it is not necessary that I get tired further.

30- Extreme sensitivity and empathy

Since a child, I have been extremely sensitive. I cannot stand violence, it disturbs me; at the sight of blood I have a fast blood pressure drop and I might faint - it actually happened hundreds of times.

Bad luck, I had nosebleeds when I was a child and teenager; also, I accidentally cut myself, very, very often ... at the sight of my own blood, I stagger, as it happened to me only two days ago ... I cut my index as I was cutting the last slice of bread and the knife ripped off a bump ... I quickly rushed to go to the bathroom by pressing the finger ... and in one second of inattention, I looked and saw the finger bleeding ... I had to call my wife to help me deal with it, and most importantly, give me a chair as I was already dizzy ...

29- Avoidant personality disorder (part 2)

To continue the subject I started in post 28, I want to discuss Avoidant Personality disorder. There are 7 main criteria to diagnose a person with this social inhibition ; as long as minimum 4 of them are found, the patient has this disorder.

28- Avoidant personality, cognitions, emotions & isolation

I have already mentioned in other posts that I avoided social situations that cause me anxiety. Reading ''la peur des autres'' gave me the term relating to this : it is avoidant personality disorder. This means that I avoid, or at least avoided all social situations, sources of anxiety, as if I clicked continually on ''escape'' to exit a faulty software...

27-Book - Cognitive therapy & the emotional disorders

25- Book- Cognitive therapy & the emotional disorders 

Author : Aaron T. Beck

Note : 8/10

Year: 1976 (printed 1979)

Meridian 

337 pages

After receiving ''self-help for your nerves'', I started ''Cognitive therapy'', a book I bought second hand, after reading its description and found it was still valid despite its age (1976). 

 I have the first edition with a different cover  from the one I found online. I will replace the displayed photo  after I'd taken a picture.

Within days, I finished the relatively long first  two chapters, and starting this entry, because I know that I would never remember the details if I wait to finish my reading.

I chose bold to talk about the book itself, which is described and normal fonts for my own comments in drawing conclusions, or adding information that I have found elsewhere, or, for my testimony.

26- Shopping with social phobias

Shopping with social phobias
Overall, I manage shopping but I try whenever I can to go during off hours. In fact, I not only do not like waiting in line, but in addition it is emotionally difficult for me because I am surrounded by many strangers and I have social phobias. This is true everywhere: DIY stores, food shops, cultural shops ...

25- Riding public transport with social phobias

Riding public transport with social phobias especially in peak hour : 
I just got back from shopping,  with my stroller and a bag. Once more, my social phobias nearly cost me an extra trip in the opposite direction because after a small failure, the tram door wouldn't open. Between me and every other door, many students with their backpacks on the floor. It was impossible to quickly traverse the distance in time, especially when blocked by fear of disturbing everyone and seem ridiculous in my efforts. Unfortunately, these are areas of social phobia ...

24- Glassessss

In May 2014, I started to wearing the first corrective glasses of my life. A few months before that, during my appointment with the optometrist, he reminded me that he had already prescribed them for me several years ago. He reiterated that in fact it had to happen sooner or later, basically because of genetics (both parents wearing glasses, along with other family members), and simply aging. 

23- Attending parties/ social phobia(2)

Remember post 14? I mentioned that 2 years old, a friend was celebrating his 50th birthday and had invited more than 15 friends that I didn't know to celebrate with him and his sister. I'd declined for fear of having a panic attack and feel globally bad . 
Following this, I undertook my long journey, attempted cognitive therapy I'd stopped in January 2016, pursuing my own therapy and have been waiting to find a  better psychiatrist at the University Hospital.

22 – Hiking

As announced in the post 21, I intend to prepare myself physically to go back on hikes / walks in the woods, in the mountains. I have not been there for a good ten months, and I do not want to do too much and force my body.

21– seasonal allergies

the month of March is back and with it, my seasonal allergies, especially as several city trees are already widely in bloom this week. I like their beauty, but they irritate my nose and make me sneeze.

20 – Depression

Suffering from depression or an episode of depression affects both emotions, and the physical body  which becomes fatigued faster when you have a depression because the body and psyche are linked.
I have experienced many episodes of depression in my life, and depression more or less chronically, since I was a child.
The causes may vary and are sometimes difficult to detect. Other times, depression is just a phase in my cyclothymia, and in the most difficult moments I found myself with several depressions at the same time: one being in my cyclothymia, another more in the background, etc. .

19- Help

Continuing my reading of ''Self help for your nerves'' in which a chapter is devoted to the patient who must accept and dare to ask for help when needed,  reiterated in my mind my own difficulties, precisely, to ask for others' help.
This is due to several factors:
Lack of trust / belief in myself, led me at times not to believe that I was worthy of assistance that could be given...

18 – CBT bis?

I finally got to talk to the person to whom I had explained my situation in January. She confirmed to me that her colleague on maternity leave would be replaced in May. 
We agreed that I will call her back on May 2 to fix an appointment with either herself if she could find the time to receive me, or with the new therapist.