35- Advocating with extreme sensitivities and social phobias

I belong to a local group, and yesterday at a staff meeting, someone asked me if I was going to an animal rights protest that weekend. I replied that I wouldn't, that they'd have to call an ambulance to treat me once I fainted .. I'm not ready to such actions, taking due both to my extreme sensitivities and social phobias.


However, I am very passionate about that cause - and others; they are many, but I do not advocate going out into the streets to protest against the many injustices around us ;my social phobias prevent me from doing do- except once, last year's Monsanto march. 

Generally, I avoid protests, it's part of my avoidant personality disorder that I have developed over the years, avoiding facing stressful situations which overwhelm my social phobias, resulting in panic attacks, and drop in blood pressure and temperature.


Yes, in addition to all phobias, I also suffer from hypothermia and my emotional vulnerability to stimuli puts me in shock when my tension and my internal temperature fall sharply; I become pale and distance to fainting reduces dangerously.
Furthermore, I am extremely sensitive, and during protests for animal liberation - a cause close to my heart- it often happens that very gory images are displayed to raise awareness against the realities but these pictures make me sick, literally ...they give me nausea ; I'll usual actually vomit, faint and have many other horrendous symptoms. 


Some people tell me '' you suffer but animals suffer much worse'' and it's true, but I do not think the cause is well served by someone who falls woozy and must be revived and taken to the hospital where he will have an allopathic drug treatment developed with animal testing in its creation ... no, I think as long as I am sensitive, I could not participate and lobby for this cause ...

It is not for nothing that I am who I am, this extreme sensitivity led me out of school classes because I was already veggie and even as a kid at the time, I could answer my teacher in a very open and direct way, to get out for some classes ...

But in adulthood, my activism is limited to my involvement in groups, sometimes as moderator / staff member, and informing people I meet online or when the situation allows it and that I may open my mouth... (social phobias etc)

There are, however, many other causes that I care about and where no gory image is shown ... yet I do not march out there in the streets, simply because of my social phobias .. .
With time, I hope to improve my condition and limit the impact of all these phobias on my life and my various actions, because I want to demonstrate in solidarity for a cause or against an injustice, whether in animal liberation, the balance between our two genders, protection of children and so on ...

But in the meanwhile, the only achievement was the demonstration against Monsanto last year. Until the last moment, I almost canceled my participation, but realizing that sometimes you have to push yourself out of your confort zone, I put aside my fears and told myself that if I felt bad, I could rely on few friends in whom I trust and who were going to this march. 

The march started small, just 50 people ... and during one or two hours progressing towards our end point, tens and hundreds have joined the ranks and in the end, more than 1,000 people walking in a very orderly fashion behind the organizers ...

After some speeches, a concert ensued, social phobias and my vulnerability to excessive vibrations from the music, causing me nausea have affected me ... so I asked a friend to help me to leave and she accompanied me to the tram.

A success, despite the difficulty of staying until the end, and hope that one day I would go well enough to repeat this experience and extend it to other causes.
But my extreme sensitivity has only grown over the years, which makes me think that I could never attend the demonstration of animal liberation ... I will advocate still on my side even if I cannot go ...