30- Extreme sensitivity and empathy

Since a child, I have been extremely sensitive. I cannot stand violence, it disturbs me; at the sight of blood I have a fast blood pressure drop and I might faint - it actually happened hundreds of times.

Bad luck, I had nosebleeds when I was a child and teenager; also, I accidentally cut myself, very, very often ... at the sight of my own blood, I stagger, as it happened to me only two days ago ... I cut my index as I was cutting the last slice of bread and the knife ripped off a bump ... I quickly rushed to go to the bathroom by pressing the finger ... and in one second of inattention, I looked and saw the finger bleeding ... I had to call my wife to help me deal with it, and most importantly, give me a chair as I was already dizzy ...






The selection of movies and tv shows that I watch is in agreement with this extreme sensitivity; Curiously, I could see a few movies and police/ judicial shows, with some rather bloody scenes  - but I hide behind my knees. Well, I do it when it does not last too long and I have a special interest. Otherwise, I avoid, and so some series and movies that are too graphic for me stay away from me ...far far away!

It also means that sometimes we watch  things separately, my wife and me. She likes horror movies, and sometimes very graphic tv-series. She goes to the movies without me for a number of sessions that I avoid....Often she filters and tells me if I could see this or that film ...
Sensitivity is also central to my philosophy of non-violence, the principle of Ahimsa, the veggie lifestyle that I chose as a kid ...
While it is sometimes painful to have to hide or avoid certain jobs, I think my sensitivity is an asset because I developed, very early in life, great empathy and it made me a better person than I would have been without my sensitivity. It is (a) part of me, of who I am. It defines me.