25- Riding public transport with social phobias

Riding public transport with social phobias especially in peak hour : 
I just got back from shopping,  with my stroller and a bag. Once more, my social phobias nearly cost me an extra trip in the opposite direction because after a small failure, the tram door wouldn't open. Between me and every other door, many students with their backpacks on the floor. It was impossible to quickly traverse the distance in time, especially when blocked by fear of disturbing everyone and seem ridiculous in my efforts. Unfortunately, these are areas of social phobia ...


It reminds me that during my adolescence, the bus where I lived had no switches to allow the person to open the doors . We had to pull a thread to signal the wish to get off, or worse, talk to the driver when the bus used was even older!
It was very convenient for me when I had managed to talk to drivers and develop cordial relations with them - ah the 80's and 90's were so much simpler for that ... Despite all my anxieties I had managed to befriend with those who got used to see me.
On the contrary, if I fell on a driver I didn't know and he forgot to open the door, it was rare that I dared asking - even if it meant down 500 to 1500 meters too far and having to walk back, full of shopping bags! at the time, the frequency of buses allowed only rarely taking the bus in the opposite direction ...
Only two stops allowed access to home ... Soon the bus squarely left the neighborhood and seen the slope to climb back, I sometimes had no choice but to wait a good half hour (or a whole one) before I could head back home with my shopping. 
I often walked back home from school. First, I wanted to delay coming back to my tormentors, and secondly I avoided overfull buses. That gave me all the excuses to make some sport: it is well known, walking is healthy.
Walking in the cold with a full and heavy stroller is not pleasant ... and this afternoon I almost couldn't get off the tram  in time ... It is a barometer to measure my progress, because usually I managed to go shopping outside of peakhourse... safe, with no cause for anxiety and thus I do not progress ...
So one day I wish I could excuse myself out of that rush hour tram, and not fear the ridicule or anything else for that matter...