470 - Unsent letter to a despot - a poem

 Emma Mcgann's song writing challenge is over, as it lasted 10 days (17-26 April), each with its own prompt. If you recall, I'd converted the challenge into poems, and I now post #8, for which the prompt was "unsent letter" (e.g. texts, lost words, apologies). 

I oscillated between trials of a light topic, but couldn't come up with more than a line or two, and a much much heavier topic, presented below. 

I must display a trigger warning, for psycho-emotional abuse, trauma and a tad graphic content - in a 388 word long text. 

Unsent Letter to a Despot

I've never told you a word appearing beneath ; I mean to never send this missive 

These words are indeed hurtful, but you have done so far worse, if you could perceive.

You failed me as a parent ; presupposed protective, nurturing and teacher's roles

all replaced by tyrannical controls

Peace and humility you preached, but never followed your so-called enlightenment

Brutality and arrogance you displayed ; In truth it was self-entitlement

Abominable were your commands ; Atrocious, your violent reckoning

Your belt you brandished, like a sword, and it always stroke, deafening

My thoughts and opinions you constrained

My very emotions you chained

Humble I should be, following your orders, you said

"Look at the floor, never directly in my face",  as if it were the blinding Sun,

"for I am your father and savior, and you are my first-born,

a role model to all the other disciples you should be",

Have you ever read about Narcissus ? Because you sure emulate, in discordance

to your principles, staring in your own imagined might and importance

In the latrine you locked me for any offense ;

Is it any wonder that claustrophobic I was thence ?

The world you presented as filled with unbelievers, whom you wouldn't defend,

unless in you they put all their trust and donated their funds.

Above the law you raised your person, like self declared  emperor on his thrown.

"Obey my orders, blindly and diligently, for that is my decree"

Haven't you a clue that you stained your white prayer robes with blood ?

Your power trip has cost more than bruised egos you wished to erase!

Pure, son of god you affirmed, but in truth, you were awfully crude

All your lies should be pierced and exposed, in ultimate disgrace.

I've given up on ever reaching you, for responsibilities you always deflected

There is no prospect that you'd understand and accept your errors.

I left you, and if I ever said any of this, you'd claim war I'd declared

but you've already been commanding your followers, like a dictator 

sends his soldiers to die ! Blame, guilt and shame falls on all else.

I opened a chasm between us, and ran away from your dominion.

My person I rebuilt, no longer hindered by your threats.

To me, you are already dead, but the day you follow suit will be a celebration.