416- CBT4Emeto - 27-29

My exposure tasks for the last few CBT4Emeto sessions have usually been the same ones, so I had decided to avoid a repetitious posting on individual sessions. , 

Today I'm working on catching up, and shall discuss sessions 27 to 29.  Their dates were 21/11, 5 and 6/12/2019.

Henceforth, my habitual trigger warnings are reiterated.      



I followed my CBtherapist's exposure tasks as requested, to get accustomed to them and also to automate them into natural habits instead of chores. Thus, they have been the same, more or less, in the past few months and over several sessions. 

We had numbered these tasks for quick reference, having to concentrate on 
 2, 5, 6 and 7 for quite a few sessions. Here's the list: 

2 - further reducing my avoidance of garbage in the streets, by walking no more than a meter away. 
3- sorting laundry 
4- washing dishes and concentrating, when I can, on the way the dishes are made, not about their dirt. 
5- to take my glasses off and to squint for bloody scenes on TV. 
6- fewer layers of paper towel when cleaning the sink. 
7- Constricting the neck : depending on the season, and during daytime, I have to avoid using my wide collared tshirts, shirts, and wear narrower collared ones instead ; or, I have to use a scarf, for the same purpose of creating the sensation of constricion, for as long as I can. 
At night, I'm still allowed to use my wide collars.

On session 28, we added exposure task 8 : when I feel hair getting caught in my mouth, I have to wait 30 to 60 seconds, BEFORE removal., so I can get used to that feeling and, in time, not be triggered by it. 

As of sessions 28 and 29, I have to concentrate first and foremost on this new, task 8, and on 7 and 5. 

Success has been slow but task 2 has now become quite automatic, I seldom feel avoiding garbage in the street, though I still avoid dog's poos ; I finally managed to reduce (task 6) to 1.5 layers of paper towel during most cleaning, and just a few times, even down to 1 layer at a time! 

Having concentrated on task 5, whilst watching TV and movies : during the more gruesom/bloody scenes, such as on NYPD blue, I still take my glasses off, squint and when it's too much, avoid (as I'm allowed for this level) ; in cases of lower graphic level, be it the same show, or The professionals, or the rare ones in movies we have seen lately (Star Wars 4-9,  the 'new' Planet of the apes trilogy, and a few others), I was actually surprised that in many cases, I was able to watch, either without taking my glasses and squinting very faintly, or, in some rare cases, not having to even squint at all! A first in my life, where I can watch a few seconds of blood on the screen, and not faint or become nauseous! 

Sadly, as soon as we installed task 8, instances of hair in my mouth have been rare. The first time, I'd forgotten about it, and the second time, I was able to withstand only about 20 seconds. I'll have to work on that one a bit more.

Next session : 13/01/2020. 

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