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As mentioned in the previous parts in this blog series, Steven Hassan's list is my current reference list for the BITE model used by cults to control their followers.
BITE stands for the four control types, which are : Behavior, Information, Thought, and Emotions.
This series budded in my mind when I listened to Drew's video discussing MLM's and how they include many cultish aspects. I know that a lot of people don't really understand what that means, whilst others make jokes. As a survivor, I came to the conclusion that despite a few entries on the subject, I hadn't ever explained in full how cults function, hence this blog series, divided into 2 main parts :
- general presentation of Steven Hassan's BITE model, using his original list and adding my comments.
- mirror entries pertaining to the same BITE list, but applied to my own experiences. I call this second series Bitten Bitten, figuratively.
I continue with the second type of control : manipulation of information.
These are : deceptions, limiting access to non-cult information, dividing the cult from the outside world, encouraging mutual policing and reporting to the hierarchy (already seen in beaviour control); prapaganda and indoctrination, and guilt-tripping.
Here's Steven's list, followed by my own experiences:
1. Deception:
a. Deliberately withholding information ; b. Distorting information to make it more acceptable ; c. Systematically lying to cult members
2. Minimizing or discouraging access to non-cult sources of information, including:
a. Internet, TV, radio, books, articles, newspapers, magazines, other media
b.Critical information ; c. Former members
d. Keeping members busy so they don’t have time to think and investigate
e. Control through cell phone with texting, calls, internet tracking
3. Compartmentalizing information into Outsider vs. Insider doctrines
a. Ensuring that information is not freely accessible
b.Controling information at different levels and missions within group
c. Allowing only leadership to decide who needs to know what and when
4. Encouraging spying on other members
a. Imposing a buddy system to monitor and control members
b.Reporting deviant thoughts, feelings and actions to leadership
c. Ensuring that individual behavior is monitored by group
5. Extensive use of cult-generated information and propaganda, including:
a. Newsletters, magazines, journals, audiotapes, videotapes, YouTube, movies and other media b.Misquoting statements or using them out of context from non-cult sources
6. Unethical use of confession
a. Information about sins used to disrupt and/or dissolve identity boundaries
b. Withholding forgiveness or absolution
c. Manipulation of memory, possible false memories
And now, my own experiences :
Throughout my years there, he either withheld (1a) or distorted (1b) vital information, limiting my access (2a) to media, books, entertainement, that wasn't accepted by his precepts, thus creating a vaccum of knowledge. Back in those days, the internet wasn't a thing yet, so (2a) was mostly about filtering my access to anything cultural. I was never allowed to listen to the radio, play games, read newspapers, magazines, articles, books, and generally no tv either (aside for a short period where I was allowed pre-viewed episodes and films, a privilege that was to be taken away from me, forever).
When I was a teen and my paternal grand-parents moved closer, my grand-father introduced me to classical music, the radio, some of his creative outlets, and let me watch whatever I wished on their second TV. He even set me a VCR, many VHS, and spend quality time with me, bonding but also giving me those intellectual sparks which I need so badly! If it hadn't been for him and for my best friend in school (M. already mentionned elsewhere), my lack of knowledge in culture, history, geography, and many other topics, would have much more worse than it already became.
Critical information (1b) about my country of origin, my real mother, the changes in names, manipulation on my school years and disjointed path have all been part of my father's habitual reign of misinformaton, disinformation and outright deceit.
I don't know if I ever met any former members (1c). Those I did meet were always presented as having remained all the long years before and after we met. I don't even know which they were, in or out, of the cult. I certainly had no access to anyone who left prior to my own departure.
Not only was I kept busy (2d) but I was also far too young to understand what I was going through, or had any external frame of reference. In time, I grew up, and eventually was presented outside examples via M. (once more) and maybe two or three more classmates, and that's all - because I simply almost never had the right to visit anyone outside.
More on my education in post 370. The gaps in my education and cult's vacuum of knowledge and limited access to the outside world have caused me severe intellectual lacuna ; I had to learn a lot of topics on my own, throughout my life, and still lack certain understandings.
There were (2e) no cell phones, nor texting, not internet in those days. As a result, there was no control of those communication forms, but my discussions over the land line were monitored and listned to on a second receiver the household had.
Once my father had one, the computer was off-limits, and protected by a password.
Those who followed and believed him were saved from doom and burning in hell, the pit into which everyone else, the Outsiders, were going to fall.
Since the computer was offlimits, in those pre-internet days, information was scarce. I found some, only thanks to my paternal grand-father, to M. (from school) and because my curiosity and rebellious nature pushed me to seek it in libraries, by taking long detours away from my chores, and I accepted every single punishement I received for this, with gritted teeth but necessarily happy to have expanded my horizones - despite the rules and pain of these punishement.
Due to their age and longer standing in my father's cult, the other "brothers" had access to more material than I, in my younger years, but I eventually grew older and in my teens joined their additional spiritual chores and duties. I found out no real extension of knowledge, since they were also cut from it - though during the years leading to my so-called promotion, their access was presented as something to strive and hope to reach. I was cheated from this, as all I got was even more lies.
There weren't all that many members when I was a child, but even these few reported my deeds once I was moved out of my father's to live with them. I always had to hide the few items I managed to get outside of the rules, and always feared of being discovered. Such was the case about a few CD's, my radio-headphone (it was a thing back then), and a couple books I wasn't supposed to have.
At first, the only cult-generated material included teachings my father gave to the members, in forms of audio-tapes and their written transcripts, to be read weekly. I was sent to listen and participate as soon as I was old enough, and the frequency never varied.
Since in those days, there was no internet, none of the other medias were made. Only pamphlets, because the financial means of this cult weren't big in thise days. This changed in my late teens, shortly before I left, actually.
All non-cult sources were forbidden, and the few that would pass through the net would be misquoted, and called of the devil - to be avoided at at all costs.
And now, my own experiences :
1. Deception+ 2. Minimizing or discouraging access to non-cult sources of information
I was lied to, right from the start. I was born into the cult, as my parents met in a decade of mystical experiences. They divored, and my father re-married. He circumenvented the court decision regarding my custody, kindapped and brought me a whole other country, where he presented his new wife as if she had been my mother. That was one of the biggest lies a father can tell his kid... (read more here ).
Throughout my years there, he either withheld (1a) or distorted (1b) vital information, limiting my access (2a) to media, books, entertainement, that wasn't accepted by his precepts, thus creating a vaccum of knowledge. Back in those days, the internet wasn't a thing yet, so (2a) was mostly about filtering my access to anything cultural. I was never allowed to listen to the radio, play games, read newspapers, magazines, articles, books, and generally no tv either (aside for a short period where I was allowed pre-viewed episodes and films, a privilege that was to be taken away from me, forever).
When I was a teen and my paternal grand-parents moved closer, my grand-father introduced me to classical music, the radio, some of his creative outlets, and let me watch whatever I wished on their second TV. He even set me a VCR, many VHS, and spend quality time with me, bonding but also giving me those intellectual sparks which I need so badly! If it hadn't been for him and for my best friend in school (M. already mentionned elsewhere), my lack of knowledge in culture, history, geography, and many other topics, would have much more worse than it already became.
Critical information (1b) about my country of origin, my real mother, the changes in names, manipulation on my school years and disjointed path have all been part of my father's habitual reign of misinformaton, disinformation and outright deceit.
I don't know if I ever met any former members (1c). Those I did meet were always presented as having remained all the long years before and after we met. I don't even know which they were, in or out, of the cult. I certainly had no access to anyone who left prior to my own departure.
Not only was I kept busy (2d) but I was also far too young to understand what I was going through, or had any external frame of reference. In time, I grew up, and eventually was presented outside examples via M. (once more) and maybe two or three more classmates, and that's all - because I simply almost never had the right to visit anyone outside.
More on my education in post 370. The gaps in my education and cult's vacuum of knowledge and limited access to the outside world have caused me severe intellectual lacuna ; I had to learn a lot of topics on my own, throughout my life, and still lack certain understandings.
There were (2e) no cell phones, nor texting, not internet in those days. As a result, there was no control of those communication forms, but my discussions over the land line were monitored and listned to on a second receiver the household had.
Once my father had one, the computer was off-limits, and protected by a password.
3. Compartmentalizing information into Outsider vs. Insider doctrines (a-c)
Quoting entry 400 : Compartmentalization is that technique that creates a scission within the brain, as if in compartments or drawers, but with the added sense that one cell doesn't know what the other does. Compartmentalization within my father's cult was that of us VS everyone else. My father was the very last, and ultimate messiah on earth. There would be no other, because with him, the end of this world and, in fact, that of the entire universe, creatures, stars, planets, all of it was going to be destroyed.
Those who followed and believed him were saved from doom and burning in hell, the pit into which everyone else, the Outsiders, were going to fall.
Since the computer was offlimits, in those pre-internet days, information was scarce. I found some, only thanks to my paternal grand-father, to M. (from school) and because my curiosity and rebellious nature pushed me to seek it in libraries, by taking long detours away from my chores, and I accepted every single punishement I received for this, with gritted teeth but necessarily happy to have expanded my horizones - despite the rules and pain of these punishement.
Due to their age and longer standing in my father's cult, the other "brothers" had access to more material than I, in my younger years, but I eventually grew older and in my teens joined their additional spiritual chores and duties. I found out no real extension of knowledge, since they were also cut from it - though during the years leading to my so-called promotion, their access was presented as something to strive and hope to reach. I was cheated from this, as all I got was even more lies.
4. Encouraging spying on other members
There weren't all that many members when I was a child, but even these few reported my deeds once I was moved out of my father's to live with them. I always had to hide the few items I managed to get outside of the rules, and always feared of being discovered. Such was the case about a few CD's, my radio-headphone (it was a thing back then), and a couple books I wasn't supposed to have.
5. Extensive use of cult-generated information and propaganda
At first, the only cult-generated material included teachings my father gave to the members, in forms of audio-tapes and their written transcripts, to be read weekly. I was sent to listen and participate as soon as I was old enough, and the frequency never varied.
Since in those days, there was no internet, none of the other medias were made. Only pamphlets, because the financial means of this cult weren't big in thise days. This changed in my late teens, shortly before I left, actually.
All non-cult sources were forbidden, and the few that would pass through the net would be misquoted, and called of the devil - to be avoided at at all costs.
6. Unethical use of confession
In a way, the lies I was fed about my step-mother and later, my mother, were part of thise panipulated memories (6c).
Forgiveness about my transgressions was often withheld (6b), on the grounds that I wasn't honnest enough and hadn't really learned my lesson. In all those cases, whatever the punishement I had initially incurred, was doubled, trippled, quadrupoled ; each time, I would be required to ask for forgiveness again, and judged once more on the merits of my honnesty. After a while, I learned to lie, in order to survive the ordeals I was subjected to.
The fact that I was automatically a sinner, and disbelived, caused me many punishements, including in cases where I knew I wasn't guilty and someone else was. I was nonetheless punished and I grew to resent this ill-treatment on constant basis, and it severely disrupted my sense of identity (6a), my sense of self, and where my boundaries should be - as I had accepted retributions others should have suffered. This became a trait that is still an ongoin work in progress to break, that of standing my ground and learning to set boundaries between me, and others.
This is one reason why, as a result of these traumatic experiences, I let people abuse my kindness, my energy and time - letting toxic, one-sided friendships in. I started this topic in entry 378 and shall expand at some point - drafts have already been started.
(1711 words)
Forgiveness about my transgressions was often withheld (6b), on the grounds that I wasn't honnest enough and hadn't really learned my lesson. In all those cases, whatever the punishement I had initially incurred, was doubled, trippled, quadrupoled ; each time, I would be required to ask for forgiveness again, and judged once more on the merits of my honnesty. After a while, I learned to lie, in order to survive the ordeals I was subjected to.
The fact that I was automatically a sinner, and disbelived, caused me many punishements, including in cases where I knew I wasn't guilty and someone else was. I was nonetheless punished and I grew to resent this ill-treatment on constant basis, and it severely disrupted my sense of identity (6a), my sense of self, and where my boundaries should be - as I had accepted retributions others should have suffered. This became a trait that is still an ongoin work in progress to break, that of standing my ground and learning to set boundaries between me, and others.
This is one reason why, as a result of these traumatic experiences, I let people abuse my kindness, my energy and time - letting toxic, one-sided friendships in. I started this topic in entry 378 and shall expand at some point - drafts have already been started.
(1711 words)
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