373- CBT4Emeto- 4

This morning was my 4th overall CBT session for emeto, 3 weeks since the previous.  I was a bit anxious again, but less than the night before the 3rd session. 

Due to the highly triggering aspect of this phobia, I now must cautious you that if you click to read more, trigger warning applies from this point onward. 


If you recall, my exposures were 

1. If I'd managed to swing by the hardware store to buy gloves in my size, my task was to use them to take hairs out of tubs and sinks, but this, again, wasn't feasible so it's has been postponed to when I can go to the store - I'd have to ask a friend to make a detour next time he drives me to the mall next to that store, because it's not in a  practical area of our city. 

2. To reduce my avoidance of garbage/ waste containers in the streets, which include dogs' #2's and even though am allowed, for this task, to keep my distance, I have to avoid avoiding them as I have been till now. This avoidance have been usually changing sidewalks or, if impossible, to walk past these triggers very fast. I now have to learn to slow down and when possible, not to cross the street. 

During the past 3 weeks, I managed to avoid avoidance about half of the opportunities, and most of the times that I didn't follow my instructions were in the morning, as that's the moment I am most emeto-triggered of the day. 

My tasks in the next 2 weeks until my 5th session (17/07), are to continue these (1, if possible) & 2, expanding my tasks to further avoid, even suble avoidance - such as not looking at the garbage, I have to dare and look, though I'm not asked to stare and dwell on them either.

3. A third task has been added : that of increasing my capacity to sort dirty laundry - for this period, far away from meal times, but not to ask my wife to do them. This is a perfect opportunity, as she'll be gone to the UK for 10 days, during which I won't have a choice but to keep up on sorting, washing and hanging this laundry. 

These tasks may seem easy to those who don't suffer from emeto, but to me, this and many others are beyond difficult. Mornings are the toughest, but also after eating : I often wait a whole 2 hours before doing any of them.

CBT and exposure aren't always easy, especially when such a phobia has crystalised and hardened in me ; but, with my therapist's help, and doing this very gradually, I hope to become more functional and to reduce the impact this complex-emeto phobia has on me (I'll remind, 3 other phobias are embedded into it).

Next shall be on 17/7, as I said.