363- Stepping out of Mental health (#talkmh)

For sufferers of mental illness, all topics of mental health and support are at the core of our days. 

Indeed, we seek answers on how's and why's. We're on a quest for tools to better cope with our conditions. We may read psychology and self-help books or blogs ; we may view vlogs by others who also suffer, who may have advice to share through their experiences, or by therapists. 

Most often, we may be in therapy, or in waiting lists, to be helped by professionals - either for the above goals, and/ or for medication. 

As we often faced stigma, ridicule, or at the very least some misunderstanding by others, we grew to talk about mental health topics and mental illness more frequently, in hopes to improve societal views and understanding ; and to get rid of stigma. 

However, talking and researching can both become such integral parts of our lives, that others may not know other aspects of our personality. 

In bonding with others from the mental health community, I found that the closest friendships I've made were those where we managed to step out of mental health topics and mutual support, branching into mutual and different hobbies and interests, and this is why I decided to make this blog and to host tonight's #talkmh on this subject. (Blog readers who never heard of it, it's a mental-health based twitter chat, which ran Thursday's 20:30 UK time,  weekly until recently, and every fortnight for the time being. It was created by Hannah Rainey, whom I mentioned more than once on this blog, as she has also been a personal muse and a friend). 

Social studies have shown that it's difficult to start talking with a different language than that with which we'd started, years into a relationship, and I have experienced this. I can see similar difficulties arising if all we exchange about is mental illness, and try later on to add new topics.

In stepping away, I don't ever mean to stop talking and supporting, but to expand friendships.

I think expanding is important for several reasons :

• We can avoid burning-out or becoming locked with only one type of talks/discussions, where other topics may be awkward to start.
• We can discover one another's centers of interests, hobbies and activities.
• We can widen one another's horizons, either by the discussions, or suggestions.
• We can show others that though we suffer, we are more than the sum of our past, present & future struggles with mental illnesses, and that we are first and foremost, people. 

Also quite important reasons : 

• Our friendships can rely not only on mutual support and understanding, but also on mutual points, as well as enriching through differences. 
• When one or both of us don't struggle as much, or anymore, having had these discussions beforehand can help with friendships that can flow and continue naturally. 

How do I step out of mental health ? 

• I discuss geek topics, such as books, shows or movies, especially science-fiction and fantasy ;
• I discuss my rare trips,
• or hikes, 
• Photography, 
• Art, 
• Advice on how to use a camera, or tool, or high-tech,
• I may talk about games (social or video), 
• When talking about food, I limit it to vegan recipes and topics, within my sensitivities and philosophy, life-views and lifestyle, 
• Or about any of my core values 

I exchange about any of the above, or other topics that the person can think off, until we find something that we can talk about.

All these are only examples, and the goal of my hosting of talkmh about this topic is to create bridges and help all of us have those talks outside of mental health issues and struggles with mental illness. To help all of us discover our interests and persons outside of our struggles, because mental illness doesn't define us as people, but all of us, with our habits, intellectual and creative pursuits, or our jobs and families can help better define who we are, what we stand for, and thus help to enrich one another. 

Tonight's questions on the chat, which you can read on twitter. If you participated and wish to expand, or missed and wish to reply, you can do so in comments on this very blog.  
1 In your talks with others from MH community, have you had opportunity to discuss other topics than MH-related (struggles, support, research, therapy) ?

2a If not, why ? (eg, did you feel locked into the topics & didn’t know or dare step outside of it?)  
2b is yes, did you find that doing so helped bonding & maintaining friendships? Did you have any benefits you’d like to share ?

3  At home or outside, away from mental health, mental illness, psychology and self-help, what are you other interests? (eg reading books, shows, movies, games, art, creativity…). Shall we introduce our interests & hobbies to one another?

4 do you think that having had the opportunity to discover  mutual interests has sparked new friendships or helped in deepening the ones you had based on mutual support before? 


I hope you enjoyed the chat if you made it ; I hope you can see why I brought this topic and can expand your friendships in the "mh community", or, if you don't suffer, better understand us, and that we are like you, just people - with one or several differences. 

Remember, we all have mental health, but not all suffer or will suffer from mental illness. 

Thank you for reading, and any eventual comments.