320- Daily Impacts- Phobias

I remind that you that this series is inspired by Jodie's "what it feels like" as seen on her blog.

Moving on in my daily impacts, for this 7th instalment, I now discuss phobias. First, if you want to read which ones I had or still have, read this.

The daily impacts of having phobias tend to be collected into one word, one action that is a common to all phobias, and I believe most sufferers do the same:

Avoidance. 

Why ? because we - I - feel anxious and afraid in given situations, and the sensations aren't pleasant, especially the ones that come with hosts of physical symptoms. 

We avoid, because we're not masochists, and think that not facing these situations will preserve our safety and well-being. But, it so happens, that each time we avoid, we become less and less capable of facing our core issues and avoidance becomes second nature. 

By avoiding, we actually hamper healing from any given phobia. 

The daily impacts of phobias is that anything that causes anxiety has become a scary set of circumstances and our avoidant tendencies rendered us so incapable of facing most or all of them, that we have fear of being afraid, and usually need intensive CBT to unlearn fear and re-learn our coping skills. 

In each phobia, there is a fear of one or several sets of objects. In social phobia, already explained, interaction with others and their presence can be difficult, as we fear their criticism or observations of our acts. This is my case, indeed, and though I made progress, thanks to CBT, certain feelings persist.

The daily impact of having multiple phobia is that fears and anxieties pervade my routines, into constant awareness of my surroundings - which I can differentiate from CPTSD hyper-alertness and which I understand is related to the crystalization of my fears when I was a child in unsafe situations.  

The daily impacts of the compounded phobias makes me fear the darkness, or unsafe places ; of people, their views on me, my appearance or actions ; of big dogs ; of drowning : of closed spaces or those I cannot escape from easily. I additionally fear the sight of blood, gore and to some extent, violence. 

Emeto has extra aspects, fearing illness and even of seing others ill.