310- Things I've learned in 2017

I'd initially planed this post for the very ending minutes of 2017, but two reasons compelled me to complete it earlier :

The first is my participation in a group post entry on Kay's MH_Stories blog, alongside the other ambassadors ;
The second reason is that this is the very topic of 52weekgratitude's 50th week. 

Thus, I present to you things that I've learned this year, thus far - and if I learn something else of value in the next 2 weeks, I'll either share it alone, or edit this entry. 


As a person, I learned how to discern more balanced friendships, and not to settle for unilateral ones. Though this is always a work in progress, due to ptsd of abandonnement and separation anxiety, coupled with low self esteem issues. 

I learned that though I freely use my own sarcasm, I seldom understand other people's, or have huge doubts at certain words I hear or read. My wife believes this as a sign that I may have Asperger's but this has to be checked. 

I learned that I could remain regular in blogging, but that I could also take breaks, and vary topics, and that it was okay to do it solely for my own catharsis, even though I hope to be part of the community that brings social changes. 

My blogging style has evolved greatly since I started.

I also followed challenges, either adapting or respecting their prompts, but that I was much better in creating my own subjects. 

I also have been an ambassador, as mentioned earlier, on Kay's blog. I learned to use Wordpress, and to edit blog entries that are essentially different in scope that my own through this project. 

I learned a few new photo editing techniques and that I had to stop comparing to other photographers ; to only use my own best as guideline. 

I wanted to learn playing a musical instrument ; I tried using the harmonica I'd left aside for years, only to discard it again and to try my hand beating on a pair of bongos, but I wouldn't say that I've learned how to properly play, nor even tune it. For the moment, it's a random occurrence of tapping beats, and I think I'm okay with that, for the time being.

In regards to mental illness/mental health topics : 

The most valuable things I learned in CBT are to be patient and to practice self love, self kindness, and to cut myself some slack, trying again if and when I fail at a task. It's okay to have occasional unpredictable exposures, as it keeps you alert and shows you the road you can take later on, once you are ready. 

I learned how to better cope in social situations, and that even after 30 years of difficulties, I could finally attend many more situations, from cafés to art exhibits ; from cinema to birthday parties.

I learned a lot more on how my traumas branched into struggles with mental illnesses, and to progress on my healing path more than ever. 

I enjoyed many things this year,  and I learned to ask for help and support more frequently, too - as this used to be one of the toughest things to do. I used to only offer but never ask, and when I wouldn't get things equally returned without my asking, I'd get upset, and cut ties, with bad feelings of failure. Now, I learned to work on these issues, more than ever. 

2017 was one of those years where the stark contrast between struggles and achievements ; between worsened conditions and improvements in others, have all been at the highest levels. It's been tough in many respects, and yet, I made wonderful new friendships that I hope will last ; I learned a lot, about myself, about my functioning - though off course, there is a lot more to unravel. 

As you can see, there are only 2 more prompts, but nothing in small measures, mind you!