227- ptsd relief and growth

Many sufferers of post-traumatic stress experience intrusive thoughts, flashbacks and/ or nightmares. It's not easy to block out the onslaught of images popping into our minds, even when we are awake and active during the day. These thoughts and images can occur at work, while driving or walking, or any other activity. 


At night, when we have even less control because we are, seemingly, at the mercy of our psyche, we may get flashbacks and nightmares, which are very unsettling. 

I used to get them every night and what I found most helpful was reassigning meaning to traumatic experiences and anniversaries, so trauma would be less constantly present in my conscious thoughts. More generally, working really hard on not letting my difficult, traumatic past rule my daily mindset had some impact on my overall mental health, but didn't always reduce my nightmares. 

• In the past, I had found that music helped me greatly. During the day, it reduces frequency and strength in my flashbacks. Listening to it until not too long before bed time really helps me decrease all stress, anxiety and ptsd intrusive nightmares - as well as waken flashbacks.

• Not watching anything triggering, especially at evenings - and at least until you recover enough from the trauma ; meditation and possibly relaxing herbal teas can help a lot.  The ones I like are verveine (= verbena), and lemon-balm (Melissa in latin), and, spraying diluted essential oil mix (20 or so drops each of Eucalyptus & tea tree, and 5-10 of lavender) in a spray bottle full of water) on the pillows. Lavender is known for it's relaxing, soothing nature, just like Melissa.   I took a photo and posterized it (name of effect in Gimp) 
  

By changing the meaning of trauma and deciding that I'm not a victim but a survivor has shifted my view of this past.  Although  it shaped who I am and there are limits to what I'm able to do and face, I've coped with a lot of emotional and psychological abuses and in so doing, have grown a strong resilience and honed my compassion.

In turn, this resilience is a strength of character that I always needed, and I hadn't realized I actually had within me for many years. I had given so much power to the one person who brain-washed me to believe he had all the power and that I had none : my father. 

Last month, I had a horrible experience in the grip of my cPTSD. The support I got back then helped me pass this difficult hurdle and I found not only a new proof of effectiveness in reaching out and getting support from an online community, but also that I always had this inner strength.

I just had to let it out of its cage. After discussing with my wife, I came to realize that I had been giving my father that power which he claimed. I needed to cut this mutual fantasy out of my brain and psyche. In doing so, I not only broke chains I was dragging,  but also empowered into a cycle of positive achievements throughout the 3 weeks that followed. 

I believe that all this helped cut down on my own intrusive waking and sleeping thoughts. 

My compassion has always been my biggest and most defining character trait, at the root of my life philosophy, reaching out to try and help others in their own struggles and create a positive cycle of mutual help, dialogue and understanding. This is a pretty good thing to come out of trauma, I'd say, wouldn't you ?

• Another help I found is to distract from triggers of all kinds, by keeping busy and focused on my tasks, activities and hobbies, but this has to be done not as an escapism. It has to be done, in my opinion, as part of living in the present moment, not letting any of the past moments affect us more nor stress over events that have not yet come to pass because they are in our future - even if time is a wibbly-wobbly... thing... 

Our human experience of its passage is still very linear, even though science and fantasy fictions can make sense, our perceptions and capacities remain linear and this is what with must work with. 

The following moment will arrive, no matter what - resisting, stressing or having anxiety about it won't change its arrival nor its nature. Only our reaction to it can change what we experience and reap from it. 

In the same way, we cannot alter our past (short of time travelling, off course, and which may have unforeseen effects), so we must only strive to change the meaning we give to these past events, even in those we suffered trauma and hardship. They helped shape one or many parts of who we became and taught us more than we sometimes realize about ourselves, our inner strengths to overcome difficulties and weaknesses or inabilities. 

Some of our qualities wouldn't exist if we took away our hardships. Accepting this reality have helped me better cope with my trauma and I hope that you can as well. 

Modifying how we react and view our trauma doesn't negate it, quite on the contrary! We can learn to harness from these wounds and self-empower to be reborn from our ashes and achieve great things, by moving mountains of obstacles and helping others to realize their dreams and in doing so, realize some of our greatest gifts for passionate compassion, understanding and out potentials awaken, blossom and ripen into a person far more capable than we ever thought before. 

We can all do it!