211- Regrets

Day 13 in ##30dayblogchallenge: biggest regret. For a middle-aged person who have let so many opportunities pass and made wrong choices in life, there is no simple way to define the one, big regret. 

Instead, I think it's easy to say that somewhere along the way, one such a regret would be not having had the opportunity to heal faster from my psychological wounds, at the root of most of my only limited choices in life pursuits. 


I cannot wish that I hadn't experienced my traumas at all, because they are part of my past, part of what helped define my strengths and qualities, just as much as my weaknesses, frailties and difficulties in life, limiting what choices I could make. 

Instead, I wish the traumas would have been shorter, and thus allow a much faster recovery and healing, because by nature, they are always really tough to deal with and it can take much longer to heal than to experience any of it. 

Every single other regret such as lack of academic success as well as personal limitations which both lead to smaller avenues I could've taken professionally are all bi-products of my root issues of traumas, lack of self confidence, psychological wounds and limited possibilities. 

I do have another big regret : not having learned to cut toxic people out of my life, when they pretended to be friends. It took me far too many years of self-sacrifice and too many efforts before I could learn this lesson. 

One last big one : that I hadn't found a way to keep in touch with my paternal grandfather. 


Introduction to the challenge setup by B  & her original blogposts
Day 14 : my fondest childhood memories. In the midst of traumas, do you think I can find such a memory ? answers in my day 14 post.