201 - Fears

Day 8 of B's #30dayblogchallenge is about Fears. 

I have quite a few of those actually, some are actually Phobias to where I'll send you for details, but some aren't. 

• I think my biggest is to lose my mind, my identity, completely- through loss of memory, massive trauma, accident, or illness. 
• I'm afraid that I wouldn't be the kind, compassionate me if it happened 
• I'm afraid of losing all my friends and family, because 
• I'm afraid of being all alone 
• Although I do better with my fear of darkness, it's only because we sleep with a dim night light in the hallway, without which it'd hit me once again quite badly 
• I'm afraid of losing my sight - I don't know how I'd deal if I became blind
• Similarly afraid of losing an important body part 
• or becoming very ill
• I'm afraid of growing older & grumpier than I can already be 
• I'm still afraid of big dogs (you know, German Sheppard and bigger), I'll still change sidewalks though less so than in my youth and I don't tend to make huge detours. We did have a dog, and later another, a few years ago. It helped reduce but not cure this fear
•  Losing my hearing because I wouldn't be able to listen to music anymore 
• Being forgotten
• Being in a situation when I'm alone and cannot be of help to people who need it (say, someone needs first aid, stuff like that)
• Breakout of war, as a) i'm a pacifist & b) am not a very strong man, physically speaking. I'd be useless & amont the first victims 
• Being physically attacked, same reasons 
• Dying too young, because I started my life quite late 
• ....

Day 9 : things that make me happy