185- Anxiety & panic attack tools

I'm starting what I hope would be a series, about tools to help in cases of anxiety and panic attacks. 

I suffer from a couple dozen phobias, 4 of which are social (read on post 8 for details).
Also, I'm a very anxious person as I worry not only about what people would think about me, my appearance, social graces and the like, but also about how long I'm going to have to wait (public transports, lines in stores...), or possible outcomes of situations. 


Crowded places (stores, transports, conventions, market... the list is a bit endless) are particularly difficult for any person who suffers from anxiety and social phobias because of the amount of possible things and people that can ''go wrong'' and about which we worry so much to the point of sometimes experiencing the unpleasant panic attack.

During such moments, it's difficult to consciously think about anything to get out of the panic mode that overrides our senses, and our bodies. 
Our breathe becomes difficult, our hands may sweat, our heart may beat really fast and give us the fright that we're having a heart attack and about to die... These and many other symptoms- individual to the person, can quickly become overwhelming and are at all times very annoying.

So, what can one do during such difficult moments ? 

I have read many articles and listened to many vlogs of other people who experience anxiety and panic attacks, and many tools have been suggested. 

From my research, the most commonly repeated advice concern breathing techniques (there are many) ; having grounding objects or movements to take your mind off the stressful, anxiety-ridden situation ; retreating to a safer zone, to recollect and calm oneself before heading back to the situation.... 


>> I still find it difficult to remember about the breathing technique during a panic attack. I'm far too busy hyperventilating, feeling my heart go haywire and that the walls and people around me are squeezing me into a flat paper-sheet...  

Besides, I often find difficult to breathe properly anyway, even when am relaxed : my sinus are usually stuffed due to a deviated septum and allergic reactions, possibly also pollution. This would actually be a task to learn and apply in normal situations before I could use in stressful ones. 

>> Let me show you my one my grounding object:  
My wife made it for me last summer, by melting a small portion of my chap stick in bain-marie (aka double boiler, or water bath*), adding some lavender essential oil ; let it set in this small container.

It's always in my pocket, or bag when I go out or during 2016 summer travels. 




I can either smell if I feel too anxious ; or, since it's chap-stick, I can apply a bit of it just under my nose, so I can prolong the sensation of its smell and relaxing lavender. I don't know if it' d be safe to apply straight on the lips - it may burn or tingle, as essential oils are quite pottent.

I used it during a major panic attack in Paris subway  with great effect, and periodically as prevention on other occasions. 


>> I most often retreat from the situation :

• If it's in public transportation, I tend to get out, breathe fresh air and take the next ride. Off course, if it's really late and there isn't another, or if I have a deadline, I cannot withdraw. But, since in general I don't travel much and have a bus pass in my city, I can take as many buses and trams as I wish. 
• If needed, I get out of a building, store, office, change room. 
• In worst cases, my panic has made me nauseous and I end up in the WC, but otherwise I avoid them due to my coprophobia & emetophobia. 
• If it's impossible, retreat to the wall, a corner or the best secluded area. If you can, do those breathing exercises or use your ground object, or technique. Something to help pass the crisis and be able to go back to the event. 
• With people, I apologize before I retreat ; or at least, explain briefly why I had to go when I come back. It's important that those you are with understand it's not about them, that you do appreciate their company and not trying to avoid. Not everyone can guess what you are going through. 
• if you must leave a party, or your office event, be sure to be polite. People won't mind that you leave, especially when you thank for the invite, and they will value your politeness. 

>> Whenever possible, ask a person of trust, aware of your anxieties, to accompany you for support and to reassure you. Have a code signal between you, to get an immediate help if you feel anxiety welling within ; it may avoid the panic, and if it doesn't, the person can get you out of it faster. This has been my case, in many situations, especially last summer's trips to Paris. 

Ultimately, these (and many other possible) tools are about dealing with a situation. 
The best way to avoid them isn't staying at home - both you and I know that this only exacerbates  the issues, making us less capable of attending social situations, and adds depression and sadness regarding these difficulties. 
The best is to reach out, talk about it, with family and/or friends, and accept that you may need therapy to learn how to cope. There are many schools of therapy - my right one was (and is) CBT, with gradual exposure therapy as an integral part of this talk based and interactive therapy. 

Search for what works for you, get the help that you need, because the end goal is to learn how to cope with the situations and thus, you'll be able to attend far more social events that you can now, or could in the past.

I know this for a fact, you can read my CBT and Exposures, each in their hyperlink. Some entries have both keywords. 
(if you want, here are links to specific CBT2016 & CBT2017 

Don't take only my word for it. Check for example 

• Megan Reese's guide to panic attacks
• Fiona's coping with the physical effects of anxiety and depression
• Hannah's finding the right treatment (about therapy) & her broader mental health toolkit
• Meagan's blog also talks about panic attacks with coping tools 

There are many, many more such blogs, and also vlogs, I'll link you to my pinterest, some of the boards will send you to the right place. A word, though : I didn't organize them with tools in mind, back then. so, for now, the vlogs talk about anxiety, some with tools, others are more about self-expression and sharing. 

This post is getting long, so I'll stop here. More shall come, over time. I'm learning. Feel free to share your own tools here, or on any of my future posts about the subject.