150- CBT2016- 11 & 12

I came back from my 12th CBT session and now it's time for me to summarize it - after I discuss briefly the previous one from 9th of November. 

That one was preceded by 3 weeks during which I had great difficulties and had lost motivation as I was feeling under the great pressure of my mental health - as I detailed in post 145.


I had 4 exposure tasks which I couldn't really achieve - though I had managed to do different ones. Therefore, my therapist had cheered me up by helping me see that I had attained some exposures, and requested that I work on the initial 4 tasks, which are as follows : 

• Asking help from strangers (which I did in stores when I actually needed to find products I couldn't on my own)
• Writing cards or letters to friends (my wife and me wrote condolence cards to 2 friends of ours, who are sisters) 
• Sitting next to strangers (I did when we went to watch Fantastic Beasts, and in public transports, where I often had to stand, but it counted for strangers' presence) 
• making official phone calls, if possible (I had to make a few, actually) 

Also, as I had lacked motivation and asked for her specific help, she guided me to look at the reasons that drove me to my CBT, and what I hope to gain from it once I complete it. 
Thus, as I worded the various causes and goals, I could see that by holding these in mind, I can boost my pro-action once more, pursuing my exposures and therapy, because the end goal is to reduce the overall impact of my social phobias and all its inherent anxieties as well as inhibited participation in my social life. 

Indeed, I would regain self-confidence and could go to movies, stores, public transportation and not be systemically overwhelmed. I could travel and not feel panicky. I could entertain my friends, and also accept their invitations. I might even manage to be bold and attend a concert, which I have never really been into (with the tiny exception of a few moments listening to a friend's singing on a band, once, in a local bar).

With this in my mind, I did my exposures and when I read my notes to my therapist during today's session, she congratulated me for a good job done, and gave me 5 more exposures, all on the same level of 75/100 anxiety. They are :

• Invite my family
• Visite my family (both these will help due to upcoming xmas) 
• Self-express my fashion tastes, displaying my hair and cloths (I have been doing it, and have to continue this, as I discussed just in posts 148 & 149) 
• Compliment others, especially strangers if I can (I have managed to do that for acquaintances and friends periodically) 
• And last for the moment, affirm my opinions regarding subjects that might be controversial and cause disagreements (politics, religions, etc) 

My next (13th) session is on 28/12 - in a whole month, to give me time to get all those December social events. It'll also mark 7 months since the beginning of this therapy, as the first session was on 30/05.