142- Today's psychotherapy

Today I had my regular, non-cbt therapy session - I'll specify here that my normal therapist didn't study for CBT which, in France at least, is a specialty. When I asked to see him more often than every 3 months, so I could work on my social anxieties, he had sent me to a colleague to concentrate on that part, and thus we can continue working on my other traumas - though, evidently, from session to session there is a portion that is a mix of updating him about my past 3 months, and that includes talking a bit about my CBT and personal research I've done in the psych subjects because I've been hands-on in my attempts to progress towards healing.


I came back quite happy with my session today because I realized how different a therapist he is than my previous one who was a lot more passive than him. She was more into listening and being a mirror to my own talk - which often was a bit more of a vent than therapy, and therefore in a decade and a half or so of therapy with her, I had progressed very little towards healing.

In the past 4 or so years - ever since I accepted to be followed by her replacement, this ''new guy'' - I have made actual progress, because he is a lot more active and dynamic in this therapy, and giving real advice. 

I am not totally dissing my previous therapist, however : each one is different, and when I was her patient, it suited me to have a sounding board who was passive - but, the newer me needs this newer form of exchange.

Today, I discussed the last couple psychology books I read as well as all the research into cPTSD, and I told him that I'm open to any suggestion to help me dealing and progressing on my traumas, and his answer was quite positive :
you know things that I don't (referring to terms such as cPTSD and its French equivalent, which is even less used than the non-officialized cPTSD), and that he could use me as a his assistant... 

What I take away from this isn't necessary that i know more than him, but rather that I know myself more, and that I have the tools that I need in order to progress.

He did suggest that I take also appropriate time to let all the theory that I read about in books and blogs, or through vlogs, and let it sink into my psyche, so it can naturally mature and grow from a theory to a series of actions that I can do - and also avoid over saturating.

Now, I had felt this fact on my own, and in the past couple weeks have been less obsessive about my mental health research and branched into reading about other topics, and blogging music, movies & book reviews instead. He suggested to continue like that, and sometimes do only my CBT, and close all other mental health related materials for a whole month if I need, because otherwise I would risk saturating my brain too much.

He also suggested rekindling with meditation that I had put aside for quite a while now, and to expand my horizons into many other activities such as working dirt (gardening etc), art (in the planning already), hikes, see friends and anything else that takes me away from concentrating too much on mental health, and live life.

As a consequence, I am announcing less frequent mental health posts, a bit more about other topics - and divert to my other blogs where you'll see more reviews.

Also, just like this past weekend, I will have regular offline days,  but rest assured that I always come back.

Til' next time, I'll see you around