117- CBT 2016-5

I had my fifth CBT session this morning and it was quite conclusive. 
Since my last session, I was supposed to continue asking for information and directions in the street, stores and transports, and also invite newer friends - those I know less - to my home, which is next on my relative social situational anxiety scale. 



I managed to fulfill the first part, each time that I went shopping : it's becoming easier and easier to do so, and the anxiety level has gradually diminished over the past few weeks as I went to ask for information even when I knew the answers. 

As for inviting friends, that was a bit of a failed execution. Indeed, if you read back posts 108-109-110 you will see that I had experienced a massive panic attack during my wife's absence and it took me several days to recuperate physically and emotionally as I binge ate and became violently ill. (all details in above links). > I discussed with my therapist how I saw some positive in this whole experience, because it shed light on a few traits I need to work on and improve.

I had managed, therefore, to invite only one friend on the day my wife had left, but no one else afterwards. 

6 days later, my wife came back and as she'd caught a sore throat, we didn't invite anyone for the second week between my CBT sessions. 

However, while talking with the therapist this morning, I told her that in spite of my difficulties, I had managed to talk with a newer friend twice on the phone and invite her to hike and do some photography - we agreed on this upcoming Wednesday. When she asked if she could bring a friend of hers, who's calm, loves nature and also vegetarian, I accepted. It was an opportunity, and I'd learn from my previous error that it was time to stop letting my anxieties dictate social situations. 

I told her how I also discussed with another newer acquaintance who had encouraged me to share my art with her, and subsequently with everyone one twitter. (I'm off course referring to Brenda, already mentioned in previous posts). 

After compliments from several people, I went back and did a whole new series of art (5 pieces thus far) in a week, which I also shared and got more feedback, and inspired both Brenda and a close friend to do some art, and thus all this art has been one big positive snowballing. 

A few days ago, as I went shopping in a mall, I managed to help 3 different people (1 in the store, another in the bus as the driver didn't know where she needed to go and I did, and lastly helped the driver maneuver when he'd turn on the wrong street) ; I also talked with another woman who helped me find a product in that same mall, and lastly, I managed to ask people to move so I could pass and exit a busy bakery - which is always difficult for me to do, as I usually don't dare to assert myself and wait for my turn to move... 

All this was very positive and my therapist congratulated my achievements. 

She told me to continue my tasks :

• Asking info/directions
• Invite more acquaintances / friends I know less to spend time at our place or outings

and added two more:

• Spending more time in supermarket (next in anxiety level) 
• And lastly, send official emails (I found one idea, that I shall take care of tomorrow probably) - and I made 2 official phones as part of this general task

Next will be my... sixth CBT session : 8 August 2016 (2 weeks, because we'll be travelling again between now and then).

It feels good to have a proper Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, and I told my therapist that both me and my wife noticed my evident progress with her help, and thanked her for her exposure therapy and tips. 

Positive all around.