105 - Midlife crisis? Identity crisis?

I want to discuss a topic I have been brooding over for the past 2 years already. 

Two years ago, I was at the doorstep of celebrating 3 decades of my intellectual passion for astrology. Two years ago, all over a sudden, I totally lost interest and inspiration. 

At first, I assigned this drop on a depressive episode I was going through. A few months later, my mother-in-law passed away and I sank further in depression and disinterest. I wasn't doing much of anything for a while. 

But, time ticked away, my depression subsided and I regained interests and intellectual pursuits - except for astrology, which was supposedly my biggest passion. 

I could read again, thanks to new glasses. Still, I haven't felt the need or inclination to go back to it. 




Then, I also started to focus on my mental health and especially my social phobias which were diagnosed and all my CBT stuff (there are numerous entries). 

I mentioned to my regular therapist that I felt I was having a midlife crisis and he dismissed this idea. To him, modern psychology doesn't use this term anymore and instead, I have to view it as a change which came gradually as life is constant evolution. 

I agree with part of that : yes, life is a constant movement, changes and evolution. But, that very same astrology also taught me that there are some important crossroads in life which can bring sudden and radical changes which aren't really the fruit of that gradual change. People do all kinds of radical things - for ill or for good. 

I felt like a ME who isn't interested in this subject, from a parallel universe, swapped places with ME from this universe. It is that big of a shift in me and I really cannot explain. 

I talked about this with a friend who's about my age, and he had a similar experience. He gave me some idea to take back all the energy I had given away by mentoring others in private or in forums/groups online, and it felt nice to do that. But, it didn't ''fix'' my issue : to this day, I still haven't regained any of my passion, not even a little bit.

Maybe part of the issue is that I was fed up with the ludicrous, childish and materialistic approaches most people in the forums and groups had. I have started to purge my posts in the process of leaving one of those groups altogether... 

I also noticed that some people seem to consider me a friend only when they need my advice and mentoring. Yet, I'm no longer a person without this interest... this has saddened me immensely and might have contributed to further push me away...

As I proceed to leave that group, I also plan to delete these people from my friends list : I don't need those who forget that I am more than the sum of my parts, and I am more than a free advice booth to click on... In this regard, I have learned from some past experiences, to say enough is enough, and stand up for myself. 

I have even considered reselling all my astrology books and make space in the shelves... But, as I cannot yet fathom and pinpoint this disinterest to midlife crisis, identity crisis, or being tired of those people, or if I'd regain my passion once my mental health improves enough, I decided to wait. 

I don't want to make a rash decision and regret it. I'm bidding my time, and waiting to come to  conclusion : what the hell has happened to me ? 

Btw, let me assure you that my core me is still me : I am still vegan, I don't cheat on my wife with 20 year olds, nor my secretary ; I don't buy an expensive car, I haven't started passion for football/socker, nor rugby... 

However, I do lack motivation, inspiration for astrology, and also tennis :I haven't watched a match in a long time, whilst on the other hand I like playing tennis on  ps3... who is it to say ...

Am I a different person ? 
did I stop believing in this topic and other esoterica ? 
Did I lose my mind?
Or is it occupied by mental health issues ?

Did I really wake up in the wrong dimension? 

Am I in a crisis ? midlife or identity or is it all the same? 

If anyone has any idea, please share. I'd like your lights, your inputs. Thank you!