87- Special Edition 4: Cortnee's 7 day positive vibes (4) - Letting go

Day Four of Cortnee's 7 day positivity challenge is :  Let Go Of The Negativity (challenge: how do you “let go”)



I've been struggling all day to find inspiration as to how I let go of negativity. 
I have to admit, this is the first hurdle I've ran into during this challenge.

 I have difficulties in getting rid of my negative thoughts as to expectations of hardship and difficulties in life as I wasn't properly taught how to. In fact, I was raised with an approach that the entire world is rotten, full of sinners and disbelievers who shall all perish and burn as part of a divine punishment.  
As I mentioned previously, I was brought up in a religious cult and as a result, I struggle every day to see positivity around me, or for me. 

I think one way I try to deal with this issue is to surround myself with kind people, as my wife and some of my friendships. It was difficult for me to stand up for myself, but I've been learning to do that whenever so-called friends repeatedly hurt and disrespected me  and threw them out of my life. 

I search also for stories of compassion and kindness to brighten my hopes that some people are actually good, in the midst of others who don't care or didn't learn to as of yet. 

When extremely sad, or when my depression really hits my emotions so badly that I cannot extricate myself out of a slump, I turn to music : I have many tastes, and in such moments I'll first go for depressed or breakup songs at the like. They usually make me weep and afterwords, as my emotions are still freshly stirred-up, I turn to Beethoven - especially his 4th & 5th symphonies have for some reason always been uplifting for me. 

These symphonies have accompanied me for many years and I still have the original cds I bought and brought back with me from abroad. I love Ludwig's symphonies so much that I bought also an SACD boxset to listen to them in 5.1 ! 

If truly distraught with negative emotions, I sometimes disconnect everything and go either to meditation (which I kinda forgot lately), reading books or watching something to lift my spirits - the most successful at that aren't comedies like one would expect but science-fiction in general, and Star Trek in particular. 

Escapism into a better world with some profound philosophical and societal statements which have influenced me for decades - even though I haven't been able to fully express certain qualities as I suffer from many phobies and traumas, I have hopes and I think that is actually the best way for me to let go of negativity:  hopes and dreams give me something to look forward to, and maybe plan for... 

Until that happens, I'll fight with negative thoughts and brood at moments, but at the core, I really hope to improve my dispositions.