78- Special edition 3 - LGBTQ+ : (2) Non Binary

I previously mentioned that in our society's views, I am ''an effeminate man'', because I walk like what is labeled as a woman's walk ; my hobbies, interests and tastes are ''feminine'', and a few other details that I'll let you read in the above link.


Now that you read it, let me precise that I consider myself non binary/Gender Queer, the Q in the LGBTQ+ spectrum. 

What is non-binary? it's also known as Gender Queer, and a gender queer person will identify with one or several of the following, that I copy quickly from wiki 

having an overlap of, or indefinite lines between, gender identity;
having two or more genders (being bigender, trigender, or pangender);
having no gender (being agender, nongendered, genderless, genderfree or neutrois);
moving between genders or having a fluctuating gender identity (genderfluid);
or
being third gender or other-gendered, a category which includes those who do not place a name to their gender.

My binary is some kind of mix of overlap of my gender identity, possibly with a slighter emphasis on ''male body, feminine aspects'', and maybe having no gender, or moving between them... who knows, that definition is a work in progress, really... 

I'm a heterosexual guy, but I don't completely identify as a man, although I have a man's plumbing and my shape is one of a man. 

That shape is a vehicle, it's my external shell and if you want to call it a man, male, or masculine, so be it. 


You may further view me as heterosexual since I never had anything else than hetero sex. 

I relate very easily to women and rejected part of my masculinity in view of my father's upbringing and refusing all that violence and abuse, all the misogyny is our patriarchal society and the fact that I never liked my hairy body. 

I was never allowed to explore my gender, as even hetero sexuality was a sin in my father's cult upbringing (as discussed - sexual act had to be procreation only). 


I was never allowed to explore ''cross dressing'' or express myself in what was also deemed as a sin (biblical BS). 

Caught between natural inclination towards ''feminine fashion'' and committing a sin in a rigid environment added to my social phobia created anxieties as I grew up - even once I left that cult. 

Part of the problem resides in the automated thought patterns as one of the cult's techniques is ''brain washing''  and it creates very difficult to break mental blockages in trying to shatter the shackles and express myself whilst facing severe cPTSD and depersonalization, which pushed me into a protective shell, especially since i lacked self-confidence, and was already suffering from social phobia and fear of appearing ridicule in a robotizing society... 

Being cooped in a societal box of ''you're too odd for us'', especially in an archaic part of France to where I came back after my trauma, led me to strong desires of rebellion and it's only thanks to the LGBT community and newest generation that certain fashion trends changed to add,  for instance, floral decoration or pink attire for men. 


I finally could wear and I do, such fashion statements : floral tshirts, sweaters, geek attire, and pink, since it's no longer ''just feminine'', which is great! 

Society is finally starting to slowly accept that men can wish to be pretty and wear more decorated cloths, and that colors don't have assigned genders. 

Well, that statement isn't totally true, since some stigma and norms continue, such as baby cloths and toys, still very much in the retrograde fashions - but things are slowly changing.


I can finally express some of my non-binary nature, and I really want to raise awareness and join the LGBTQ+ community and movement.

I plan to buy some nice dresses at some point, and since I don't feel totally ready to go out in my city and face the possible ridicule or labeling, and still fearing of being physically attacked for my statement, I'll most probably start wearing these dresses only at home. 

The road is long, and I might get there once my CBT brings me far enough in my healing process, that I hope to go out one day and not feel that I'm in danger.


It's high time that everyone accepts that gender identities are one aspect, and that sexuality is another. 

Every period, every society, redefines genders. What was ''right'' yesterday is passed, now and tomorrow must be open minded and accepting, and must have compassion. 

In spite of the LGBTQ+ community, there are still far too many people who are biased against one or all of the concerned people, and those have to be better educated through ... 


Raising awareness.

Part of this tremendous work will be to show the negative basis of our society's biases,  which are partially resulting from fear of differences (much like racism) but also due to patriarchal religions and their dogma, and their rules that sex must be hetero and procreation only, all in the whilst proclaiming universal love on one side, and bigotry on the other... 

It's no wonder that so many people are confused with such contradiction! 

You may know someone, somewhere, who might be L, or G, or B, or T, or Q, or anything else in that spectrum : the +. 

And ALL, really ALL of them are human beings who deserve your understanding and you must accept them for who they are.

Discrimination must end. 

Creating a bridge through dialogue is primordial, and you may just found out how enriching these people can be, people that you would've otherwise hated if you hadn't opened your eyes and your heart to them.


Please open up, it's time ! 

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