15 -The hobbies of the social phobic

The hobbies of a social phobic are more retrospective and solitary in nature; I can play games with people I like, only, but never in large committees.

I've never been to a concert, but I managed to go to the movies (only in the past 2 years), despite the anxiety that continues whilst waiting in line to pay and waiting for the movie to start while the room fills. 
Once the lights go out, it gets better and I can enjoy the session. I like to talk later with my wife and, where applicable, friends who came to see the movie, and share our respective impressions and criticisms.


Other hobbies are solitary: listening to music, watching TV or video sites (YouTube and others) and play at home (video, some social games), and lots of reading (books, articles).

For the past ten years, I've been trying to create a bridge between my inner world and others, participating when I can on groups and various forums, and blogging in the last few months (2015) .


Trips are limited geographically and in time, for fear of panic attacks that occur in unknown lands and populated, while a nature walk resources me emotionally, psychologically and physically, and do not cause too many social problems despite the few people I meet - even on weekends, because I go further than the majority of walkers and strollers.

Moreover, following a dermatologist foot surgery last summer, I could not return to hike and so could not recharge my batteries in the fresh mountain air and the woods ... This depresses me immensely and added to the already existing depression. I absolutely have to find a time to return there, now that I can walk again, more or less well, even if I don't go far into the woods, despite the rather mild winter this year (but at times too cold, it is true to such an expedition).
Another hobby is digital photography, a little at home but especially during these walks; I prefer photographing nature rather than people and so I don't do photo portraits. I have done some, but the majority of pictures relate to insects and plants (macro-photo has become my greatest passion in photography), trees, landscapes, and architecture of the city or other rare cities that I visited.

I hope that with time and therapy, alone or accompanied by a  therapist, I could expand my hobbies for more outings: more movies, visit friends, one day go to a concert, travel better ... a whole bunch of easy activities for a lot of people, but not for me; not for years, not for now at least.

The dream is not to become "normal" because I hate normality; but have more opportunities to participate in social events without anxieties and panic attacks; without having to organize and control stimuli because it removes spontaneity and possible exchanges with friends who could lose patience with my phobias and I would end up in this case where I do not particularly want to : the loneliness of the recluse incapable of any social activity ...